As we collectively reel with the continued emotional upheaval of 2020, it feels more essential than ever to understand our emotions: What purposes do they serve? Why do we so often try to avoid them? What does God expect us to do with them?
Emotions are often a complex, tangled mess. Especially if, like me, you didn’t grow up with a healthy view of emotions. In my family (and church community), there were many unspoken but profoundly implied rules about emotions which I came to believe:
- Ignore them — they’ll eventually go away
- Negative emotions are unsafe and not welcome
- Emotions are indulgent and have minimal spiritual value
- Expressing hard emotions will ruin relationships so maintain harmony at all costs
Over the years, I began to learn how utterly false these beliefs were. They sabotaged my personal growth, my walk with Jesus, and my relationships with loved ones. Thus began the long journey and practice of befriending my emotions. Yet so often it felt as if I was taking two steps forward, just to take three steps back. I know I’ve made some good progress over the years, but parenting teenagers often takes my emotional feet out from under me. Thank God there is so much more freedom to be found!
Over the next few weeks I will be taking a deeper look at emotions—shining a light on our deeply ingrained beliefs about them and exploring ways to dismantle the unhelpful rules we’ve adopted to manage them. Together, we’ll look at practical ways to embrace and welcome our emotions as the kind gifts from God that they are, given to serve us in powerful ways.
What are some of the beliefs and rules regarding your emotions that you would like to explore?